The 25 hours from Friday night (18th Nov 2011) to Sat midnight (19th Nov) have been the most terroible I've experienced for some time. Satan has dogged my every step, and attacked me in numerous ways. My mind has been at sea at times, and my thoughts unrepeatable. He left me in a total spin for too long,
brought me to think I cannot get through this, I'm going to perish, I'm
a very bad man, not a Christian, a disgrace to the world let alone to
the church and to my precious Saviour. He has insinuated into my mind that I am hopelessly trapped with no way out, and not even God can help me now. Nobody wants me, I'm nothing but refuge, good only for the scrap heap. I could not pray, I felt as if I was being strangled and suffocated, and as if the Lord had departed from me. My mind seemed to have been taken over for periods, then for other periods, the situation eased, then back the devil came again, and tried to completely control my mind. It was awful, and very scary. He was fighting at close quarters and Paul's metaphor in Eph.6:10f of "wrestling" is most apt. It was close hand to hand conflict, only, despite knowing the enemy was there, I could not see him. I could 'hear' him, recognised his voice, understood what he was suggesting to me, but I could not see the spirit fiend.
That
was up to late Saturday night. Attended church Sunday morning, and the prayers of
the assistant minister enabled me to lift up my heart to the Lord whose
forgiveness and grace were offered to me again. What a relief this is.
Thankfully the devil has left
me - but only for a season. In the words of Arnold Schwarzenegger, the
devil has suggested to me, "I'll be back. Hasta lavista, Hazlett." But
he's away at the moment, glorying in his attack against me and partial
victory over me. But when I told him that all he said was true, but
that he left out one very important point, and that was that despite all
he said and all he knows about me, I belong to Christ, I know he'll be
enraged, and will be back for another go.
This is how to defeat him, Christian brothers and sisters - talk back to him in the Name of Christ. Whatever you do, do not try to take him on in your own strength or by your own cleverness - he will defeat you at the beginning of round one! Get back to Christ as soon as you can, and as you make your way back to Him, WRESTLE LIKE MAD AGAINST HIS EVIL SUGGESTIONS AND TEMPTATIONS. He will leave you - he must! But it will only be for a season. Until that times comes, make sure you have the whole armour of God on you, and "each piece put on with prayer."
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