Church Elder Bullies Church Members

Bullying within organisations is not a new phenomenon; nor is bullying within the Christian Church.  And the bullying of minsters by elders and members is not the only form this bullying takes, nor is it the only target group that gets 'the treatment.'

In my work with the victims of bullying which goes over the past 14 years, I have had one case where a female church worker was bullied by her female minister boss. In addition, I have only had one case where a church member was bullied by an elder.

So, bullying in the church and by the church is still a problem; but the sad thing is that the churches are utterly incompetent to deal with this anti-social behaviour within its own ranks.  They may have experience of being bullies, but they do not have experience of being bullied.  At least, not those who are detailled with responsibility of sorting out church bullying issues. 

The Presbyterian Church in Ireland (PCI) has a somewhat chequered history so far as bullying is concerned. This is not the only church denomination that is involved in this evil behaviour, as a cursory visit to the Internet will reveal.  But PCI is one case in question.  It formed a Reconciliation Service which purportedly has responsibility for dealing with such conflict issues within congregations.  The really bizarre thing is that, as is often the case in industry and business, the people responsibility for dealing with these matters are themselves the bullies; and if they are not the direct bullies, they are too closely aligned with those who are.

How do church bodies deal with bullying issues?  It's very simple.  They simply close one door after another so that the victims of church bullying are left even more devastated than was hitherto the case.  They close ranks against "the troubler of Israel," and offer protection to the system, and also to the system's 'blue-eyed boys.'  You could write the script!

Further, the more inexperienced the ministers are, and the less capable they are of dealing with elders who step grossly out of line, the more obvious becomes their ineptitude in this situation. This is shown by the old time resort to pious platitudes.  "It's always darkest before the dawn."  "God has a plan in this that you cannot see."  Or, the most recent one that I heard, "'Let's agree to disagree' and ... we will 'find out in heaven who is right'.  The niggling thing about platitudes is that they do in fact contain some truth.  The exasperating thing about them is that they are not at all helpful when addressed by an incompetent person as he disguises his own pastoral incompetence.

You would expect ministers, of all people, to have a bit of compassion for the poor victim, but alas, they are amongst the biggest offenders in this regard.  They are way out of their depth here, and it does not take the long to show it. 

And what of the victims of bullying?  Well, they are left licking their wounds, with no one within a shout to give any comfort or help.

For anyone wanting not only research-based information on bullying, but a genuine pastoral approach to dealing with this matter, then please visit this website.  If you fear your children might be affected by your bullying, then please click this link and discover what might be happening to them, and how you might be able to help them.